Linux Lies

Lower Cost - Lie. Everything can be free if you want it to be.
Stability - Lie. I have never had to restart my Windows because "something crashed". If something crashed on you in Windows, you did something wrong and it was your fault.
Security - Lie. Again, if your Windows' security is compromised, it was your fault. Don't blame the doorman if you invite thieves into your house. When was the last time I had a virus? 1996. When I was 11. So if you are older than 11 and your computer's virused up the ass, congratulations, you are an idiot.
You Have All The Software You Need - Lie. Most open source counterparts of proprietary software are shitty. OpenOffice? Shitty. GIMPshop? Shitty.
Choice - Lie. No matter what distribution you choose, you end up with the same shit. Their differences exist for the sake of being different. I hate people who are different for the sake of being different. Bastards.